fuck everything. just everything.

hi i know it's late now but i got the urge to blog. i mean like, yes i'm fucking upset now so pardon me if there's any swear words. well it's like, fuck, i can't do anything right. even teaching sec2 math when i'm sec3, i taught it ALL wrong, SERIOUSLY???? pls i rlly suck like a sucker. feeling so dumb and pathetic inside where i thought i was right and at the end all was wrong. well yes no one is gna see this but i'm just wanting to vent on something and i couldn't tell anyone because i don't want either one of them to feel sad or whatever shit fr me. i mean like, well, sometimes somethings, keeping it to yourself is one of the best choices ever. i'm not feeling me these few days where i did everything wrong and feel like everyone is annoyed with me, in school, in class. just everywhere. jealousy here and there but not wanting to hurt a very good friend of mine. what the fuck is this. can't i just be smart, be pretty, be skinny, be love-able by people just for once???  i'm always feeling so irritating wherever i go. i hate this. just fucking once in my life. just let me, feel like that for once, can't i? i really wna feel like that, i mean, it must be so good. being smart so you can help everyone in studies, being pretty and skinny so because you'll not feel left out by your friends sometimes because of your looks and size, and feeling good ENOUGH for your boyfriend. being love-able because people won't feel that i'm a burden and annoying so leaving me one by one. well yes i may look happy and good outside. but inside me, i'm not good at all sometimes. i'm an expert for faking smiles and laughter  because in school, i always do that, and my past, i did that everyday. so just fuck everything okay. i'm just so fucking dumb and pathetic. ok that's all fucking bye.

sorry for being emotional or whatever shit but if you see this just take it that you didn't because i really don't feel well tonight.